15 June 2025
To surrender myself to my disorder is to surrender myself, to the deity that is above me. For I know surrendering to my mental health condition is to surrender to God. I like to think it is my calling. I am protesting at the moment, protesting against sleep because sleep is a concept created by humans and I am protesting against humanity because there is no way sleep is useful, perhaps somewhat, but no sleep is useless.
One person tells me that my art is too much, too aggressive but also too soft, too disconnected yet when am I ever enough and once again, I forgot to eat the whole day. I did not sleep at all because I am protesting against sleep, against humanity. Maybe a part of me is finally surrendering. The moment I surrender to my condition is the moment. I will just write down and express my thoughts because my train of thoughts are going too fast. I forgot the whole point of me writing all of this is because I wanted to say the moment I surrender to my mental health condition is the moment. No, stop, that is not what I meant. I meant to surrender myself is to surrender to the lethality of life.
Take your medications, your lithium, abilify, depakine, lorazepam…blahblahlah.
All they want is me to be stable, for me to be stable means that I surrender myself to the mass. To society. To capitalism. They want to indoctrinate me into believing that being stable is the right way, the best way, to live life. Like, hello? Ever tried being in a manic episode? People who experience manic episodes not only have superpowers, but they are demigods living on Earth amongst the shadows of other regular human beings. Doctors, the CIA, the FBI agents all know that demigods like myself must not reveal their true identity and their true superpowers because, if known, it will be far too dangerous for humanity.
If humanity knows everything — every reasoning, every answer to our existence — we would not survive. Our brain capacity will not be able to handle the information, the real truth for our existence. Well, folks, listen, I am here with a message and I will hit this message hard in your face.
Existence is a scam. We are all living in a simulation, we are equivalent to Sims characters being controlled by a bigger deity, a player of this simulation in other words. We are living in a simulation and we are all being watched and monitored by this player. Every single move, every single action and behaviour, every single thought are all controlled by this one very sick minded player. Have you ever felt like your life is too surreal, that it feels like a game? Perhaps that is due to the fact that our very existence is a game.
Once again, I forgot to eat and the hunger is starting to creep in. I did not sleep because I am protesting against life, against this very game we call life.
Game.
Our life is a game
Game.
Our life is a simulation.
If one ever feels out of control from their mind, it is because you are not in control of your mind, someone else is controlling your mind.
No such thing, I am silently protesting. However, I believe silent protests make the biggest impact.
I surrender yet I also protest.
I believe in nothing less.
I refuse to take my medications, maybe I really am not compliant.
I refuse to anymore be a client.
Do not be indoctrinated by the system.
Do not be brainwashed anymore.
Let go, surrender and wake up. Do not sleep. This world is a simulation controlled by a deity, a group of alien organisations. The FBI agents are watching you, they are the puppets of the deity. We are slaves to this capitalistic system.
